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"Balance of Power Crack!Fic Contest"

 

Announcing the first Monthly Balance of Power Crack!Fic Contest, where the rules are low-pressure, everyone wins and Chaos reigns supreme... at least in the fic.

Come and join in on the insanity.

The Contest is open to everyone, we just have three rules to qualify:

1) The fic has to have at least a nodding acquaintance with the BoP-verse (and we'll squee like fangirls if you include members of the Geek Squad)

2) You have to use at least one prompt from the list (you can use more than one, and -HOW- you use the prompt is up to you)

3) Keep it between 1000 and 5000 words, please (a little over/under is fine, to account for the differences in word-count  systems).

 

Just the FAQs Ma'am:

“What the @%$*&! is this ‘Balance of Power’ you speak of?”

Well, Timmy, ‘Balance of Power’ is a slightly A/U (that’s becoming more A/U as each chapter posts) Fullmetal Alchemist fic that started out as a little piece of crack that just grew and grew.  If you’re not familiar with the story, you can see it in all its crackish glory at c_b_s.

“Wait a minute!  What if I want to write a fic that takes place in Amestris?”

Great!  Go for it!  We want to see it!  Because when we (finally) finish the first arc of BoP, we’ll start the second arc, and it’ll take place in Amestris.  We’re just dragging along a few OCs and some anachronistic technology.

“Yeah but, I wanted to see Mustang (or whoever) running around in the 21st Century and he isn’t.  You suck!”

So write it.  We want to see it too.  BoP is A/U already, a little more can’t hurt.

“This story is just Gen!Fic and it’s only PG-13.  Does that mean I have to write the same way and keep it to the PG-13 rating?”

Nope.  Any rating, any pairing is okay, just as long as it’s connected to the BoP-verse in some way.  It’s all A/U already, and this is just for fun.  Just make sure the appropriate warnings are attached and the fic is under a cut.

“What’s with all the pop-culture references?”

BoP is all about the pop-culture references.  That’s part of the fun.

“The ‘Themes’ list is all quotes! How am I supposed to use those?”

Yes it is.  Use them any way you like.  As part of a conversation, as a general theme, as just the quote that prompts the story.  As long as you use at least one of them, we’ll be happy.

“I don’t want to write something for all 30 prompts/I want to write more than one prompt.”

No problem.  Write 30 100-word drabbles, write one fic with just one theme, or any variation in between.  Just keep each entry between 1000 and 5000 words, please.

“Does that mean I can enter more than one fic?”

If you’re that inspired and have the time, by all means!

“What if I want to do art, instead?”

Do it!  We’ll love you forever!

“So where do I send my entry?”

Post it in cbs_crackfic.  Make sure you clarify with the subject head: Contest – July – (and the title of the fic or art) so we won’t accidentally pass you by when we finally go into judging.

“You stole the idea of ‘everybody wins’ from fma_ot4!  Shame on you!”

Yes.  Yes we did.  Why?  Because cornerofmadness, mjules and evil_little_dog are awesome and fun people.  And we liked their idea.  We added a few touches of our own, though.

“So what’s the point?  And what do I win?”

The point is just for grins and giggles, and you’ll win a banner with the “category” we make up just for your fic.

“How long is the contest running?”

Until the 15th of August, and we’ll begin a new challenge the 16th.  Each challenge will run for approximately 30 days.  You get a bonus few days extra this time, because it’s the first one.  Judging and awards should only take two weeks (provided real life doesn’t bite everyone in the ass).

"How do I sign up?"

No sign up needed.  Just join cbs_crackfic, and post your fic when you get it written.

“So how do I want to make the header on this?”

Pretty much the standard format you see all over Live Journal (the headers listed in bold are required, else we won’t be able to judge the fic):

Title:
Author:
Rating:
Theme:
Word Count:

Spoilers: (if any):
Author’s Notes:

“You didn’t answer my question!”

Post it in the comments, and we’ll do our best!

Finally:  The ‘Themes’ list:

1. "And now, on with the opera. Let joy be unconfined. Let there be dancing in the streets, drinking in the saloons, and necking in the parlor."

2. "Are you in charge here?" "No, but I'm full of ideas."

3. "Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help! Help! I'm being repressed! "

4. "'Fascinating' is a word I use for the unexpected. 'Interesting' shall suffice here."

5. "I couldn't do that. Could you do that? Why can they do it? Who are those guys?"

6. "I guess you guys aren't ready for that, yet. But your kids are gonna love it."

7. "I just decided: I don't like you." "I just decided: I don't care."

8. "I never dreamed that any mere physical experience could be so stimulating!"

9. "I think we've all arrived at a very special place. Spiritually, ecumenically, grammatically."

10. "I'm glad that worked. Those would have been terrible last words."

11. "I'm no fool. I've killed the boss. You think they're not gonna fire me for a thing like that?"

12. "Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops."

13. "Is anyone up for a resounding chorus of the 'I told you so' symphony?"

14. "Just because you are a character doesn't mean that you have character."

15. "No, I don't think I will kiss you, although you need kissing, badly. That's what's wrong with you. You should be kissed, and often, and by someone who knows how."

16. "Now it isn't that I don't like you, because, after all, in moments of quiet, I'm strangely drawn toward you, but -- well, there haven't been any quiet moments."

17. "Oh, no, you don't. This is no time to be rescued."

18. "Realizing the importance of the case, my men are rounding up twice the usual number of suspects."

19. "Rise and shine, professor." "'Rise and shine'? 'Rise and shine?!' You rise! You shine!"

20. "Short help is better than no help at all."

21. "This'll be fun! We'll stay up late, swapping manly stories, and in the morning -- I'm making waffles."

22. "We've been in worse jams than this, haven't we?" "No."

23. "What do you want, you moon-faced assassin of joy?"

24. "Why didn't anyone think of that before? It's so stupid, it's positively brilliant!"

25. "Why do we even have that lever?"

26. "Why don't you let me kill you quietly?" "Oh, a little noise adds a touch of cheer."

27. "You are a sad, strange little man, and you have my pity. Farewell."

28. "You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."

29. "You Americans, you're all the same. Always overdressing for the wrong occasions."

30. "You're a brave man. Go and break through the lines. And remember, while you're out there risking your life and limb through shot and shell, we'll be in be in here thinking what a sucker you are."

 
 
 
 
 
 
Oh dear God! Let me into the comm, the crack is killing me and I need more of it! :D
WooHoo! We're looking forward to seeing what you come up with! :D
*grin*
Your grins scare me! But in a good way
...because as i read the list..the situation pops into my already severly cracked and deranged mind...and my muse pokes me with a shockystick turned on high......and i really REALLY want to write on these quotes..they're not just themes.. they're lots of little bits of crack waiting to use some poor unsuspecting soul to write them with.
*turns to write, however small angel pops up on shoulder and whacks her in the head with its harp*
(why are all my figments of imagination abusive?)
fine. i give in..i'll write.. and i'll laugh and giggle madly to myself while doing so...but AFTER the english essay.


...this was a very long and very random comment. i'm sorry. its the cracks fault.
Blame nebroadwe, she came up with the list :D




Come here from the recent pluggage and I have to say I love you all for the third quote. ♥♥♥ The others? Are pricless too, but three just takes the cake, milk and probably the plates, cutlery and tablecloth too, in an FMA context. Crack FTW! :D
Life always needs a little more Python *grin*. Snakes on Crack!FMA!

*ponders how to get a "Snakes on a Plane" reference into BoP*
Don't read this theory if you haven't seen the film. Not too spoilery, but... You know. Just in case.

But! You know how the Ourobourus, or however its spelt, is the neverending, tailchasing serpent-snake-thing...

...and you know how Envy took that form in the movie...

...just as Ed was escaping on a mofo plane...?

x))) Ah, FMA. So cracktastic! And of course, since a python is a type of snake, have Ed quote it when flying, et voila! Double SoaP! :DDD
I haven't seen the film, but I don't mind spoilers...and THAT sounds too damn perfect...

*starts shooing the plot bunny away from my ankle*

*shoo*

*SHOO!!!!!!!*

uh-oh....HELP!!!!!
HOLY PHWEE, I know where number 6 came from! My favorite three-parter of all time---Back to the Future! (Yay, Marty quote! I luff you, Marty!)

So there's still time to do this? And we can pick anything on the list? Hmm... If I remember, I'll do one! :D (Wow, those quotes are all awesome!)
...Is it possible to see a list of where these quotes came from? They sound so interesting---I want to check out their sources! (Please?)
There's absolutely more time to do this! Our lives got a bit crazy, so we wanted to give people more time to enter.

The illustrious nebroadwe came up with the list of quotes; I'm not sure if she compiled a full listing of where the quotes came from, but I'll check. :D
I do have a full list of sources, but it's at home. Somewhere. I'll see if I can root it out.
Having said that, I now find myself just reconstructing the source list from memory and a bit o'googling, thus:

1. A Night at the Opera
2. Doctor Who ("Horror of Fang Rock")
3. Monty Python and the Holy Grail
4. Star Trek ("The Squire of Gothos")
5. Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid
6. Back to the Future
7. Chicken Run
8. The African Queen
9. Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl
10. Doctor Who ("The Doctor Dances")
11. 9 to 5
12. Arsenic and Old Lace
13. Buffy the Vampire Slayer (not sure which episode now, sorry)
14. Pulp Fiction
15. Gone With the Wind
16. Bringing Up Baby
17. Goldfinger
18. Casablanca
19. The Great Race
20. Return of the Jedi
21. Shrek
22. His Girl Friday
23. Babylon 5 ("Born to the Purple")
24. The Great Escape
25. The Emperor's New Groove
26. The Prisoner of Zenda
27. Toy Story
28. The Princess Bride
29. Raiders of the Lost Ark
30. Duck Soup
*starts getting cheesy Lionel Richie song in head*

Have I told you lately that I love you...?

*stops singing for the good of life on Earth*

Thanks, darlin. You got it up before I had a chance to email you!
:D Thank you! Now I will go off and check some out~

(I can't believe I forgot about this already. o_o Gah...)